How to Quit Smoking in this Economy

Tobacco companies are some of the most profitable corporations in the world for a reason. A tobacco company buys a product that costs $1.70 a POUND and charges $3.50 per OUNCE for it. Even oil companies don’t have the pure profit potential of a well-run tobacco congolomerate. The sick part is that this is all expendable income. Yours.

What do you want to do with your LIFE?
(I wanna ROCK!!)
Smokers have a certain resignation to life–my life sucks, have a smoke, it still sucks. Whaffor? Because they SMOKE. This costs MONEY that could be better spent on things that are FUN and ENJOYABLE instead of just turning into smoke and a pile of ashes. Watching someone smoke a cigarette is boring as hell, and the fun and pleasure in smoking is imaginary.

How to Have Fun and Pleasure Without Smoking
This next part is key, and requires basic math skills. Take the money you waste on smoking, and buy something you want instead. A riding lawnmower. A week on a cruise ship. A vacation. A great piece of art that can be passed down through the generations. Stock in a cigarette company (the ultimate irony). You are changing the dynamic from something you are consuming into something you can USE or something you WANT just by quitting smoking.

Do This
If you have a good credit score, go to Sears and buy a new appliance. Do it on credit. Take the money you spend every SINGLE day on cigarettes, and go to their payment website. Pay $5.00 a day on this appliance, instead of giving it to the cigarette companies. Redo your entire house like this–living room furniture, bathroom fixtures, window treatments. All from cigarette money. If your credit score is bad, then use the cigarette money to pay off bad debts. You will be surprised how good you feel when old debts start dropping out of your life.

No Cheating!
There are going to be times that seem to call for a cigarette. Not really. A cigarette is a smoker’s knee-jerk reaction to stress, because we feel like we function better with a butt in our mouth. If this happens, and you absolutely NEED to have a cigarette (like after a car wreck, a divorce, or watchin Andy Griffith smoke a cigarette on the front porch after delivering a baby) you can smoke ONE cigarette, but only if you bum it. And only if there is no banjo player nearby.

And Finally–
Find a group of friends who smoke. These need to be good friends, not fellow smokers, and there is a difference. Commit to each other for a whole YEAR to not smoke, and every single DAY put your cigarette money in a joint bank account with web access. At the end of a year, ALL of you go on a 5 day cruise to Cozumel, and party your ass off on a BOAT. Repeat every year.